complicated

sometimes, I Realized, I’ve been living in a neverland,,
sleep, with my eyes wide open,,
hours passing slowly,, lullabying me into the fantasy land,,
where u and me, together,, so beautiful,,
so beautiful,,
then i woke up, just to find u’re not mine,,
u’re not mine,,
so sad,, so ironic,,
just when i feel it so real,,
when it feel so close,,
reality hit me in the back,,
smashing me to the ground,,
now,, still in the stage of shock,, i just wish,, the time will replay itself,, bringing me again to you,,
keep fooling myself,,
such a beautiful sadness,, a wonderful pain,,
the bittersweet you,, just keep knocking on my heart,,tearing me inside out,,
i keep u so far,, just to find u before my eyes,,
lies and lies, liar and liar,, it’s all we need to see the truth,,
that it’s not the same,, to live with or without you,,

SorroW LAnd keep me Happy

u know what ?? many people seen the first chance as the ultimate one,, when it slips from their hand, thats it,, no more ,, adios,,
they were all thinking, " thats it, i’ll find another one.. "
don’t they ever think, that maybe that chance isn’t the first chance for them ?? maybe, just maybe, they were only been showen by God, a test.. to see, if they’re patience enough to hold still and make up their mind, that will influent  their entire life,, or they will rush to take the chance, ignore their healthy mind, follow their instinct,,
there’s no right or WronG,, coz in the end, you’re destiny will play it part,, it all has been written,, the path u choose, and the path u choose not to, will all collide into one,,
i always believe in second chance,, coz we’re only human, born to make and to live with mistakes,,
again, it’s not about how NOT to make mistakes.. it’s about how to learn NOT to repeat the same Mistakes..
honestly, i always feel jealous,, but then, jealousy come’s together with love,, and love is about making the one u love feel happy,,
the end is the beginning is the end..

today… a strange thought is running around my head.. why ?? why didn’t i burn in rage ?? why didn’t i drown in anger ?? such a strange feeling,, instead of blaming anyone,, or anything,, i choose to be calm,, and strangely, it works,, now i didn’t think of her anymore.. well., i do actually, but sometimes.. just sometimes,, not more,, whooaaaa,, i’m sure that i still care for her,, it’s just now i realize,, loving doesn’t always means having,, i do feel something is hollow and empty inside of me,, but then a greater feeling comes in my mind,, she is happy now,, now i know the answer,, it’s because she is happy with her choice now,, it is more than enough to close the big hole she left in my heart,, may u’r happyness were really with him,, thanks for all the time we share,, and maybe we’ll be together in the next life,,